A mum (Terry Jones) reads about an Indian massacre at Dorking Civic Theatre and tells her husband (Ian Davidson) about the police wanting to speak to anyone who saw the crime, ladies with large breasts, or anyone who likes policemen.
A policeman (John Cleese) then tells the audience that policemen make wonderful friends and gives an address to write to for a pen friend in the police force. He then takes off his helmet, from which the mum chooses a sketch: A Scotsman on a Horse.
The Scotsman on a horse (Cleese) rides as a wedding occurs. He eventually reaches the wedding and takes away the groom (Michael Palin).