The Colonel was Graham Chapman's trademark role.
- "Owl-Stretching Time
- He first appears in the sketch "It's a Man's Life in the Modern Army," interrupting a sketch in which appeared the phrase, "IT'S A MAN'S LIFE IN THE CARDIFF ROOMS, LIBYA," and he accuses it of being stolen from the Army's slogan, "It's a man's life in the modern army."
- He interrupts another sketch for using the phrase, "It's a man's life taking your clothes off in public."
- He interrupts yet another sketch for using the phrase "It's a man's life in the British Dental Association," which prompts him to end the programme.
- "Full Frontal Nudity
- He appears in "Army Protection Racket," where he speaks to a private who wishes to leave the army after realising it to be dangerous, and to mobsters who try intimidating him into getting the army involved in a Mafia protection racket. He eventually deems the sketch to be silly and ends it.
- Later in the episode, he appears between the sketches "Buying a Bed" and "Hermits," advising the programme to keep from getting silly and calls for an outdoor sketch, hoping it does not get silly. However, it does get silly and he ends it.
- He does the same for "Dead Parrot."
- Even later in the episode, he jabs an announcer to introduce the "Hell's Grannies" sketch, which he ends after 'KEEP LEFT' signs attack a vicar, thus ending the programme.